Saturday, May 09, 2009

WHO ARE YOU IN INNIT?

Alas, the author was down with the flu strains known as H99N99 this whole week, which explains the absence from updating this blog in any manner. Thus, the readership for this blog has gone down and it is time to re-boost it back!! How you ask? Simple, take some controversial topic and make it big. I thought that is what bloggers do.

Now, I am sure that almost everyone knows what is the Innit for and Nuffnangers always hang around there almost all the time, chatting, gossiping and a new word "Nang-whore". That includes me (maybe not so into the third one). Been thankful, I have met a tremendous number of fellow bloggers over my one whole year in Nuffnang, something critical as a blogger to expand the readerships, popularity and of course earnings.

Honestly speaking, Innit is not a pretty heavenly place as you think it is. It is a filthy place, biased, judgemental and a lot of whoring activities going down there! In Innit you can find all sorts of people, in which they are some that I like, some I dislike and some I hate. Then, ask yourself this question, who are you in Innit?


01. NANG-WHORING

I think I mentioned numerous time in the past and yet people still loves to do this. Is "Nang" really that important? Many peoples have come out with their own theories on how to get high nangs and I believe these theories are somewhat true. Nang-whoring is defined as an act of keep asking people to nang their post. Simply to say, this is not so much different than begging or hooking around.

SIGNS IF YOU ARE ONE:

  • You keep posting your Innit link on the chatbox when people are chatting of something else. Imagine this, when people are talking about nice pizzas in a cafe, you come in suddenly and ask about a good Ferrari sparepart!!
  • You try to be nice with people, get their MSN and one day you MSN-bombed everyone on your contact list to inform them. Now imagine this, you didn't set the alarm for that Sunday morning but your alarm clock out of its madness just buzzed you off at 6AM and you feel like you want to throw the alarm into a bin.
  • You ask for nang from a specific person on the chatbox.
  • You ask for link exchange when you don't really know the real concept of link exchange itself.
  • You become an attention seeker on the chatbox. You try so hard to get into the conversation that you end up still blur but you act like you know, rather than stay quiet and get the facts right first.


02. PHOTOCOPY MACHINE

This is an ethical breach, seriously. How many times you walk into a post which promises you with something sensational and you found the article so familiar that soon you realize it is actually a copy and paste from another main sources? Simply to say, you read the post and it's 90% copied from Wikipedia, Google, Yahoo, CNN, BBC,etc. Oh, just read at the recent H1N1 posts saga or the bitch snapping her employer's cock thingy, is not it obvious it is from some news articles! By adding another 10% of your comments which is only a paragraph of 2 sentence to justify its your post, come on, get a life.

SIGNS IF YOU ARE ONE:
  • You copy and paste an external article from much fame resources, with or without crediting it back to the source. Imagine this, you spend an hourwriting an essay for exam and someone copied the exact way as yours and add some thought of his own, but that fella scores higher than you!!
  • You post Innit links like the world is going to end soon, particularly those blog running on news articles. They can post their links in succession, possibly 10 links in the main page in one go. This one can be a characteristic of nang-whoring as well. Hmmm, i can't find a metaphor for this!!


03. POTONG STIMMER (English call what? Steam cutter?)

This is absolutely working tactics but then, it annoys and irritates people. How many time you look through a title, sounds so explosive and sensational, promising that you will enjoy it very much? Many, well, I understand how you feel. Given the perverts are looming all around Innit, given catchy title will always attract people's attention, so this steam cutting will always happen.

SIGNS IF YOU ARE ONE:
  • You make a sensational title on Innit post that have nothing related to its content. Imagine a ice-cream man not selling ice creams although he is driving on his typical ice cream van!!
  • You make a sensational title on Innit post and somehow build up people's expectation and high hopes, in the end it falters. Why? Because you said "13 Years Old Having Sex For 9999 Times" and yet it is a news article form some porn shop. Good, got some co-incidence with the number 2 above.
  • You need to do a preview, view and review of some event and stuffs you do. Need to do preview for what? This one can go to number 1 and 4 as well. Although its not a sin in a whole, can't you just straight to the point. I know, you do it because of you want to have traffic.


04. ATTENTION SEEKER

As in number 1, attention seeker is a general term and has a broad wider spectrum of meaning and perspective views.

SIGNS IF YOU ARE ONE:
  • You try to grab people's attention by claiming you went somewhere SPECIAL, you attended this SPECIAL event or you claimed this is the best SPECIAL thing you have done, saw or heard while the topic is related or not at all with the conversation and whether the topic is new or old. Confusing? Yeap? read again slowly and decipher again. Still can't understand, leave your comment on the comment box so I can keep in touch with you and answer your question. Ahh, I just did my LG Party Post but I lazy wanna put on Innit, so come to my blog la. Wait a minute, the bolded lines are the fine good examples you can find in Innit chatbox, don't they?
  • You try to bitch into a conversation.
  • You informed the person that you have just nanged the person in hopes that the person will nanged yours too.

In the end of the day,
  • NANG is not a unit of measuring how good or how crap your posts are. It measures your popularity only. Therefore, you will get event posts and rubbish posts earning more nangs than others. I pity those who really put in theior efforts for writing something interesting.
  • If you do not get into the Top 10 Most Popular Chart, your post will be abandoned from the blogosphere. How many are willing to scroll backward and read? Therefore once you are in Top 10, it creates awareness inside the blogosphere.
  • Top 10 are always been ruled by the same and particular person. NO COMMENT for this.
  • If you think your NANG is EXCEPTIONALLY high, long gone the day when you can reached more 200 nangs exactly a year ago.
Anymore you want to add. I am sure after I post this, I am expecting a lot of hate mails. I have to get ready and brace myself for this. Ahh, HEADACHE...

27 comments:

Shu Fen said...

Weeeeeeeee~ Great post! :D

Don't worry I'm not going send you hate mail :)

I am guilty of No.1 and a little of No.3 all in the name of blog promotion!

However, I justify myself and take pride in the fact that I write quite well and my content is entirely original ^^

Cheers!

I expect you will get a lot of hits for this post, so I'm going to leave my link here muahahahaha! =D

Vicissitudes of Life

Isaac Wong said...

Benard, being sick and able to blog about all these is really awesome. Haha. I think I'll be sicker after all these, if I were you. What's more if you really get hate mails :(

J'z said...

LOL that's the truth

guaichaikid said...

hey bernard...i agree wat u wrote in the post...well....i admit im some of the above...will try to improve..xD...

BLue said...

Bern, I hate you. It is so true XD

Ai-Ling said...

i love this post, bern. very well written. indeed, the number of nangs a person gets does not necessarily tally with the number of actual unique visitors or better still, actual readers he has. :)

weijie said...

NICE controversial post .

vkvun said...

I'm number 5. non of the above.haha. however, nice post. and really long time din heard from u d. take care of urself.

ink27 said...

my 5 cents worth of comment.. xD

Isn't innit a blogger world? so what is wrong spamming their own post there in the cbox? they hit directly to the point without hiding behind the bushes.. their are screaming..

"COME AND NOTICE MY BLOG YOU ****! I got something good to say!"
it may be annoying to see but come on... got to agree.. without a lil reminder.. some of us might not notice them at all

no 1 escapes whoring for nangs..including myself and also famous bloggers...

~ ♥ J E SS I C A . T said...

don't we all hate it when ppl spam their links on the cbox while everyone is happily chatting? argh.

Josh said...

No.2 example is me!
Yes! I am one of the ppl who post about the bitch snapping cock. XP
Ah well, little did I know everyone post about it. >_<

Josh said...

I DID THE BITCH SNAPPING DUDU POST! XP

roger said...

HAHA true, true. The fact remains that regardless of whether your posts are worthy of Nang's, if you're in top-10 it's going to drive traffic to your blog.

Wanna completely fuck up the Nang system?

Start a conglomerate. A group of 20-30 Innit users who agree to always Nang each others' posts.

With such a group in place, the Nang system would be as useful as latex condoms with oil-based lube at promoting quality posts.

Hooray for cheap whoring! Prostitution ftw.

Ping Ping said...

I do agree on the popularity one. Sometimes, the post is about any typical day we are having and it's at the top ten. And the you'll realize that ah...that blogger is pretty famous in the chatbox and you'll see the same people nanging his/her post. It somewhat made me stop posting my post on innit for about half a year or so because I feel that there's no meaning to it. I recently innit my post again to gain at least a little more readers than last time. XD

CWKen said...

very well said man, very well said. Finally someone brought this up, You're one great character, I tell ya lol

Which reminds me, I was guilty of all the sins above when I was new in Innit lol wait, except the third n forth hehe

Wonder things would change from here onwards.

Agnes said...

oh well... i somewhat on the fence on these! i seldom long into innit nowadays. partial reason is because of the links posted in chatter box.

but oh well.. NN did not set any rules about 'CANNOT POST LINKS IN CHATTER BOX".. so we can't really say anything?

:D :D anyways.. haiz whatever laaa. LOL

Hemsem Ahmike said...

That's why I seldom submit post nowadays. Sienness...

maRCus said...

smart one. i have yet to categorize myself thoungh =P

JoyJoy ! said...

Hahaha !
wow..didn't know so much drama happens in Innit xP
nice post =)

Todoshi said...

I so agree. cause sometimes when I click on something i think is interesting, it comes up otherwise.

KenLCV said...

You have said it all...

julian said...

Once a post gets into the top ten, it will get more nangs just because it's there and people want to see why it's popular (or at least that's what I do)

YL said...

sighs. i dislike it when pple spam me to nang their post ): i mean, if the post is nice/good enough, people would go to your blog naturally. why worry ><

Nigel Tee said...

Bern bern... i tot innit is a place where you promote ur blog one? I mean isnt it a platform to create awareness of ur post? so it ppl ask for nangs or spam their link.... they r just making use of innit, aite? =)

bern bern, go rest la. LOL =)

k@i-cHi said...

Whoa....good post
A bit terasa ad leh...LOLOLOL

zhenlong25 said...

very true~
but what to do?! lol
chill dude=)

kenwooi.com said...

hahaa.. GOOD ONE!
i totally agree that the Nang & Dang system is kinda misused!
cheers! =D

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